"In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you" (hoontheangelsing) 08/19/2013 at 22:16 • Filed to: Common Sense

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Welcome to Common Sense, an article where In A Mini talks about what is just plain stupid,illogical, and thought invoking in the automotive world.

Tonight's suspects: Lincoln and Porsche

Porsche: The Macan SAV/CUV is getting a BRAND NEW FLAT FOUR. This is the first time since the early 90's that Porsche has inserted an F-4 into a production vehicle. Now you may say "aww, no 914/944 successor" But I say that "Porsche has laid out the ingridients to make a product pizza" Each "slice" of the VAG conglomerate gets their own choice of "topping"(power, drivetrain appropriation, engine placement, marketing ideals etc.). I see this a comeback for Porsche. The Macan may share some things with the Tiguan/Q5 platform, but it has a unique "Porscheness" to it, which is the quality of going against the norm(ex. The 911's existence, the fastest production SUV in the world). And frankly my dear Oppo, I don't give a damn if it has a manual because PDK is awesome.

Now for the biggest dunce in the automotive world;Lincoln: Now I like 1 Lincoln and the only Lincoln that should ever be made, the Continental. This car was the epitome of Luxury Boat and GT. You could order Big Bertha with a rockin' 475lbft of torque coming from a 429 C.I.D.(7.0literes) V8 and she would boot scoot to 60 in 6.5 seconds. This was back in 65' people.

Now Lincoln is Ford wearing its best Jos A. Banks suit. Good quality, but you know it's a glitzed up version of Men's Werehouse. There is no "sparkle" in a Lincoln's LEDs, while in a comparable Caddy's there seems to be a "hi there, I'm determined and ready to give my best shot" look. A rebadged Humpback Whale Fusion is NOT what anybody in their right minds wants(unless you're ignorant, fine by me). I'm done...

Ramblin Rover - The Vivisector of Solihull > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 08/19/2013 at 22:45

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A rebadged Humpback Whale Fusion is NOT what anybody in their right minds wants

Well, good thing I gave up on that part long ago. Better not to be sane and ignorant if there's a world where I can be awesome and driving BaleenCar: Baby Blue: The Revenge: by Lincoln

Wait, no, actually, I'm more in the market for a '78 Cartier Town Car. SWAAAAAAAAG.

Klaus Schmoll > In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you 08/19/2013 at 22:54

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"An article where a Mini..." Sorry but you lost me there already. I pretty sure that this wasn't written by a Countryblob. What happened to this Anthony C carachter?